“I can’t get married for two years”. That was my uncensored way of blurting out to my future husband that I wanted to pursue a relationship with him, more than just friends. I regretted saying it the moment those words took a detour around my filter. Dan responded with “Maybe we should date first?” We both had a good laugh at my boldness. In that spirit of communicating, we discussed many of our aspirations while dating. One of our dreams was to adopt a baby one day.
Just under two years later, we did get married (hey, being bold does pay off!). We were not yet in a financial position to adopt, but were open to life from day one. Over the course of 6 years we came to realize that adoption was the way that God meant for us to grow our family all along.
Dan grew up in Taftville, and was familiar with Catholic Charities in Norwich. We were both nervous and excited when we had our first appointment with our adoption coordinator through Catholic Charities. She smiled and answered all of our many questions, and quickly became a strong support for us as we navigated through the journey towards adoption. She referred us to an agency in Texas, where they were in need of adoptive couples! It took us three months to complete all the paperwork to be home study approved for both CT and TX. We were so excited when we became an official waiting family! We made multiple copies of our profile book, which would be given to expecting mamas. All we had to do was to carry on with our lives and wait for that phone call that we were matched!
Shockingly enough, we were already matched with a little girl only 4 short weeks after waiting! This was going so much faster than we thought! As we scrambled to ready the nursery, buy everything pink, get our plane tickets, arrange for hotel and car rental…our amazingly generous community of friends and family hosted a fundraiser for us! We couldn’t wait to hold that little bundle of joy in only 3 weeks, when she was due. Two days before our scheduled flight, the phone rang. It was Texas! She must be going into labor early, we thought. But our hearts sank as it turned out to be the call that every adoptive parent fears. She decided to parent. We knew we should not have gotten so attached, but that’s one thing to say…it’s completely another to reign in your heart. She was born that night and her mother was kind enough to share some pictures of her with us! We will always pray for that little girl and wish her and her family well!
Of course, we had to pick ourselves up from our bootstraps after the failed match and continue to trudge ever onward. So much faith and hope was needed. It would be 5 more months of waiting before we received another call. During the wait, I decided to induce lactation to breastfeed our adopted baby. I followed the guidance of Andrea Dameron, APRN, a lactation consultant. Dan was my biggest support and got excited with me as I saw the milk production go from drops to ounces at a time! Seeing my body finally function to support life in a way that it was designed to helped to heal the scars left from infertility. I did eventually go on to produce a full supply and donated over 2,000 ounces of milk!
Five months after losing that little girl, we found ourselves at the feet of Jesus in adoration at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. We poured out our hearts. We knew our profile was being shown to a woman expecting a little boy, and prayed for both of them. That next morning, we received that much anticipated phone call! We were matched with that baby boy, due in only 6 days! We wanted to guard our hearts this time, but it was so hard not to get excited. We flew to Texas three days later and met with our son’s birthmother and her mother. We were so nervous to meet them, but we all conversed easily and enjoyed our time together. We continued to get to know each other over the next two days, as she was induced and labored for 26 hours. She graciously allowed us in the labor room, though she did have a C-Section after all that laboring. Our hearts melted as we received a text from the operating room…Nathaniel Isaiah was born! We were so excited to meet him just a few minutes later! In the recovery room was Nathaniel’s biological mother, Dan, & myself. Nathaniel took to my nursing him like a champ! Dan and I enjoyed lots of skin-to-skin time as we bonded with our new son. The staff at the hospital was so good to us! They gave us adjoining rooms with Nathaniel’s biological mom, and we went back and forth between each other’s rooms and spent a great deal of time loving this little boy together. We have maintained an open adoption and even visited with his biological family when we flew back to Texas for finalization!
We had never seen the finalization of an adoption before, so it took us by surprise how beautiful it would be. It felt like were saying our wedding vows all over again. Our eyes filled with tears of joy when we were asked, “Do you take Nathaniel to be your son, now and forever? Will you be his Mom and Dad, and will you love him forever?” Oh, how those words came so easily as we hugged the little boy that God destined for our family: “We do”.
At 7 months old, we certainly cannot picture our lives without little Nathaniel! He is a little bundle of energy and joy and truly brightens our lives! I love seeing Dan come home and snuggle with his “little man”. Many people are actually shocked to learn that he’s adopted, since he looks so much like Dan! I can’t imagine loving this little boy any more if he had grown inside me. As he gazes into my eyes and gives me a milky smile while my body provides the nutrition he needs, I know I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As we look back, we can recall that first conversation about adopting while we were dating. Never could we have guessed what a journey it would be…but it was all so worth it. Nathaniel and I still enjoy attending Catholic Charities’ support group of waiting moms, and can’t wait to share in others’ joy of adoption as well! We hope to go through it all over again in the future, if it be God’s will for our family to continue to grow.If you would like to learn more about our story or follow us in the future, feel free to visit my blog: cormieradoptionstory.wordpress.com.